valentine's

Let me start by saying this post really isn't about Valentine's Day at all, I just had no other title and seeing as technically it is Valentine's Day (for at least another hour and a half...) it seemed fitting. However, that now mentioned, I would like to say on the record that I hate Valentine's Day. And not even because I'm single. I've truly never liked it, even the years that I was not. Maybe at one time it wasn't so bad, but now with Hallmark and See's taking over the world, it is absolutely ridiculous. I think it's so much more special to show people you love them when it is NOT expected. Please, if you need a day set aside especially for this purpose because it's the only time you show it, the relationship isn't what it should be anyway. Anyways, now that you all think I lied about this not being a Valentine's post, I apologize because that was not my intent. I simply wanted to say that this 3 day weekend that I am spending alone in my apartment is interesting. Last night, however, was insanely fun. My best friend Kallel (Kelly Chiodo--who I'm sure I've mentioned before) came over and we had some crazy adventures. First we helped my friend Dwight get a case for his new iTouch, which took longer than it really should have. Apparently, we just get too distracted when we're together anyway. After that was accomplished and he went home, we decided to make some dinner, but not just any dinner...salmon. Yes we are gourmet, thank you for asking. Keep in mind, this was the first time I have ever even attempted any kind of fish, let alone salmon by myself. I must say I was quite proud of the outcome (pictures after the jump). So while we were shopping for ingredients, she decided we should do lemon shots. Let me tell you, I was terrified. I don't do well with lemon juice, or drinking that much in one sip. hahaha Anyway, I did eventually agree, which is when things started getting weird. I decided that if we were doing these, I wanted a cool shot glass. Keep in mind, I am currently in Utah, and not only Utah, but Logan to be exact. The chances of finding one I really liked were slim. However, I thought we could find something to settle for so we started looking. About an hour and a half later (skip the part where I tried asking an employee where they might be only to find out he was deaf--not easy to communicate when I'm retarded let me tell you), we gave up and got those little white plastic "bathroom cups." Literally, that's what the package said. It all worked out though when we eventually found them. So we came back to my apartment and started making dinner. While it was cooking, she was very good at squeezing the lemons. Yes, I admit I was impressed. After dinner and shots (video coming soon--I tried practicing with water before the lemon. Let me just say fail. EPIC fail. Wish we could have had THAT on video), we watched The Stepfather, which we got from Redbox earlier. I screamed, I jumped, I wanted to cry a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I really do like scary movies, but it's been so long since I've seen one. It was definitely good though...or maybe I just love me some Penn Badgley. I can't lie, I am a sucker for that scruffy smile. :) After that, for some reason we thought it would be a good idea to go down to the island (for those who don't know what that is I apologize, but I also can not explain). One of the worst ideas I've had because it was terrifying, and we had to turn right around. Yes, I am pretty much a wuss as of late. So we went home at around 1, which brings me to today which was rather uneventful. Although I did get to skype with my fabulous nieces tonight! I showed them the snow outside my door. I just miss them so much! I really just can't get enough of my family.

Before the oven.

I know the rice blends right in, but it was all delicious...

and I obviously did not want to do dishes. :)

(no caption necessary).

before I die

well I'm not sure exactly what it is lately, but I feel a little bit like nothing has been happening lately. Personally, I'm going to blame this on my current location and lack of resources but nonetheless I've actually been wanting to write these things down for a long time so the time has come. Yes that's right, I have FINALLY recorded my bucket list. I feel like there's definitely some things missing, but I guess it's alright for now, I'll just add them as they come. Before I wrote them here, I would just like to point out that none of these are church (or "relationship") related. Those are more personal and kept off the internet...I find it best that way. :) haha I realize that some of them might need explanations, so I will try to provide them to the best of my ability, however if anyone would like to know more about anything feel free to let me know. So anyway, without further ado, here it is:

1. ride in a hot air balloon

2. see a movie at a drive-in theatre (preferably a classic--Breakfast at Tiffany's, or something of that accord)

3. vacation to:

-Bora Bora (I watched a travel show on it back in elementary school and fell in love)

-Australia (especially ever since my brother went there on his mission and sent me that picture of him holding that koala--I need that.)

-Greece (Mamma Mia did it to me)

4. take at least one picture every day for a year (I am obsessed with taking pictures, but never seem to get to do it enough. I'm most likely saving this one for when I'm married//have children.)

5. roadtrip along the entire west coast

6. go somewhere and watch the sun rise and set on the same day (I say "go somewhere" because I don't just want to look out the window of my bedroom for this--the beach or a mountain would be perfect.)

7. dance with someone in the rain (I don't mean crazy random dancing with friends, I'm talking romantic with someone I love...yes I am a hopeless romantic.)

8. own something from Tiffany's :) (yeah, that's my expensive taste side getting the best of me.)

9. own a home and decorate every room beautifully just exactly how I want it

10. have a masquerade party (blame it on Phantom of the Opera.)

11. get a picture with Ryan Dungey (I already have them will all my other favorites--he's the last piece of the puzzle.)

12. make a cake for every birthday of my children's (I've always been obsessed with cooking and baking, but recently I've been on a cake kick.)

13. spend a whole day getting pampered--hair, nails, massage... (just one day of total relaxation.)

14. swim with dolphins

15. take dance lessons that I haven't already done (specifically ballroom or salsa)

16. write a book

17. go underneath a waterfall (...behind? not sure exactly what they do, but I've seen it. haha)

18. plant a garden (both fruit and vegetables, and flowers)

19. drie a convertible with the top down (on PCH?)

20. go to the top of the Statue of Liberty

21. see a broadway play in New York

22. walk the Brooklyn Bridge (because yes, I've been to New York, and did not do any of these 3 things.)

23. take a zumba class (they look amazing)

24. make an entire Thanksgiving dinner

25. make quilts for each of my children (baby and before they leave for college?)

26. go on a cruise

27. attend all 3 rounds of Supercross at Anaheim (initially I wanted this one to be attend all rounds of Supercross during one season but I pretty much realized that this was just crazy unrealistic :) lol)

So while I was typing this from my list, I did notice that I don't know how to count. I went straight from #22 to #24. Not to mention, when signing my name on a receipt the other day, I spelled that wrong too. I forgot the 'e' in my own name. College has clearly made me dumber. But now that I feel a little somewhat accomplished, I believe it is off to bed for me.

be careful.

Seriously. Because I've got a lot of ranting to do right now. It's where to begin that I can't figure out, so maybe I'll just start and see where the train of thought takes me. I realize that this process actually has a specific name to it, but seeing as I can't exactly think of what that is right now, we'll just go with it.

We'll start with food. See, this whole living with roommates thing isn't working out for me as of late. As most people know I like to cook, so obviously I do this as much as I can. Well lately I've been doing it a lot with Kallel (aka. Kelly Chiodo). Of course we make a lot, and generally more than 1 course so there are always leftovers that I put in my wonderful IKEA (which I love by the way) tupperware and store in the fridge. Now I go to class the next day, and when I come home I go to the kitchen for some lunch or dinner and notice that half my food is gone. Of course I don't say anything, but I mean really is it so hard to just send me a text asking...or even saying heads-up I'm eating some of your whatever. Really, I don't feel like I'm asking for a lot from people there, but apparently what I am asking for is wayyy too much. Keep in mind, this is not the only time this has happened. Pizza, casseroles, pies, the list goes on. I'm really not sure what that's about. I mean I truly would not have a problem with other people eating it, but the least they can do after I go out and buy all these ingredients and cook is to ask, no? Food of course, leads to dishes, which brings me to my next point.

We have a dishwasher for a reason. And hey guess what we don't even pay utilities in our apartment. So not only can you actually move your dish INTO the dishwasher, but occasionally you can TURN IT ON. My goodness people, lazy much? Am I the only person who this bothers? We all have to live together why not make it easier for one another.

Bring on the bathroom. So this really gets me in the morning. For those who know me well, know that my bladder is probably the size of a pinhead, literally. On average, I go to the bathroom about 9-12 times a day, which I know is incredibly excessive. Unfortunately, I can't help this at all, despite how hard I've tried. So when I wake up in the morning I would really appreciate the bathroom to be available. Unfortunately, my roommate decided to take a shower, get dressed, get ready, do her hair and makeup in there without ever leaving. For her, this process takes about 2 hours, which also by the way is absolutely ridiculous. But what it means for me is that not only do I never get to go to the bathroom, I never get to take a shower in the morning or get ready either. I'm stuck in my room, shaking because I am freezing from no shower, cramping because I need to go to the bathroom so bad it hurts, and never even getting the opportunity to brush my hair or teeth because the bathroom is occupied from before the time I wake up to after the time I need to live for class. Can we try to be a little more considerate please? Maybe?

Maybe these things shouldn't upset me as much as they do, I don't know. I suppose I just need more patience, and I try I really do. There are some days that are better than others I admit, but at least I've never actually gone off on anyone. I usually just lock myself in my room for awhile.

That's all I can say for now, because even thinking about it stressed me out. So maybe I'll have more to say later. Waffle party tonight!

Surprise, surprise.

Yeah, I know I get distracted. I really do try but then I forgot or I have other things going. Like this week for example--5 midterms. That truly should be illegal. I'm really not one to get overly worked up about tests in general, because the way I see it if I know it, I know it, and if not it's already too late anyways. This however was a different story, because I've literally been ripping my hair out all week. One more day and one more test. One day at a time and I can make it. How pathetic is it that I've already succumbed to trying to live through just one day at a time.

Everyone keeps telling me, college is the best years of your life. Well guess what, I'm over it, and honestly I have been for quite some time. Now maybe it's because I don't necessarily like to go out and party all the time or because I generally prefer sleep rather than a lack thereof, but moreso I think it's because everyone in my life is so far past this that I have no interest in it either. Sometimes I wish I could let it go and just have a good time every once in awhile, but that's just not who I am. I've kind of always tended to emotionally be ahead of where I "should" be in life. I'm ready for something different, and when that change finally comes I will embrace it fully with everything that I have...unless of course it keeps me in this icebox we like to call Utah. Whatever made me think I could make it through living here is completely beyond me because it was a ridiculous plan. Granted, I have enjoyed going to school here, I love the basketball games and like being able to spend time with family I rarely got to see growing up, I'm very very ready to get out. Out of school, out of arctic temperatures, out of this adolescence I seem to be stuck in.

Which actually brings me to my next point, I am about to leave my teenage years forever and feel like I should do something. I already know what my party would be in an ideal world, but in this tiny existence which is mine I come to the unfortunate realization that not only am I looking in TRUE good friends, I am even further lacking in the funding area. Normally, this wouldn't bother me, except that I think I dream too ambitiously. I love to plan parties, I love to cook, I love to travel, none of which is in any way going to come to fruition any time soon. If anyone has some ideas for something cheap that me and a few friends could do, please, I am all ears.

That being said, I feel the need to mention how much I miss my family. Being home for Christmas and actually being able to spend time with everyone, which hasn't happened for a good 5 years, was an immense blessing, and probably just what I needed. Although I really feel like seeing my amazing sister and brothers and their beautiful families together while I am still entirely alone with not a focus in the world, it brings me back and puts things into perspective for me too. It's hard to understand that things can't be rushed, but after seeing them I know even more of what I need because I see everything I want in them. You'd think I'd take more advantage of that when it's actually happening, but at the time it was difficult enough not to burst into tears (something else I really need to work on by the way--I think my tear ducts overflow all too often). Anyways, the point I want to make is how much I truly love and appreciate each and every one of them. I can't imagine where I would be without them and their support.

And now that all the mush is out, I'm going to quit before I say anything else to potentially embarrass me for life. Back to studying it is, I'm going to get better at this whole blog thing though because all that ^^ felt surprisingly nice to say. :)