craziest day of my life

today was the craziest day of my life. i woke up and then i ate some breakfast. I took a shower but didn't wash behind my ears. What blew my mind today was when i got out of my apartment there was a giant dog standing by my car. He was giant and black and incredibly hairy. He gave a howl at the moon and then transformed into a half man half goat. He was so incredibly handsome i almost melted. The hair on his chest was dark and woven with the scent of strong leather. His hair was long and beautiful. Once i could gain my speech again i asked his name. He told me Jakeward. Just the name alone brought me to my knees. He grabbed my hand and spread the eagle wings on his back. He flew me high into the sky and after soaring for 3 hours of pure paradise we landed on top of a large sky scapper. I couldn't resist any longer and i went in for the kiss. He stopped me and told me he could never kiss a pure human and only if i turned into a half woman half fish would he kiss me. So i thrust myself off of the sky scapper. While falling i called upon the power of the geese and they carried me off to the ocean. Once at the ocean i cried out for posiedon to turn me into a mermaid. after 20 minutes of crying the ocean parted and posiedon asked me why i cried. I commanded him to make me into a mermaid. He demanded my soul and i willingly gave it to him. As my legs began to transform i could feel my soul leave through my mouth. As i left the ocean i began to have a desire for people's brains. The first person i saw i attacked and tore their brains from their skull. the taste could not fill my desire and i crawled into the city in search of more. While looking for more brains i saw Jakeward in the distance. He approached me and commanded him to kiss him. I did so willingly and feinted due to the amazingness of the feel of his lips. I awoke in my livingroom face down on my couch. I had no idea why i was laying on my couch but I could still feel the saliva from Jakeward's lips on mine. I wonder if i will ever see that manly half man half goat half dog again. And that was my crazy day yesterday.